In response to Leia's post:

Oh my god, this self-serving rhetoric is totally gagilicious.

Allow me to paraphrase your pain: "As long as I keep everything bottled up inside and never say what I feel I deceive other people. I tell myself that it's me trying to "make other people happy"...But really, that's just a lie since in actuality it's that I don't have the courage to explore what I'm really feeling and be honest with others."